Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me. Please continue to be in prayer for us (not as a couple obviously--but in our own separate needs). I am so afraid of losing my friend to this girl--I think it is a fear that maybe has driven me more than losing him romantically. I want him to lean on me for direction, comfort...the things of a best friend...but that is also what a girlfriend is for. Just pray that I can continue to be an influence, but in a godly manner. I cannot come between he and whomever he choses to be with...it's not Christian, ethical, or even what a good friend would do. I just don't know how I'm going to influence him now that he has this person in his life. I'm afraid to take up his time like we did before when he was single. I'm afraid of my own selfish desires blinding me with jealousy so that I cannot focus on what is really important. I just need to turn to the Lord...but please pray for me. This has been extremely hard...I don't even want to think about other men right now...the whole idea of dating just sounds upsetting at the moment. I feel fragile, vunerable. I don't even know if I want someone right now--it feels like I would be better off alone. My heart just aches...I don't know how to handle this, so I just ignore it for the most part.

In addition...I want to be respectful of the time he wants to share with his girlfriend. I mean, if we had dated, I would have wanted the same thing of his other friends (all of whom are women...that sounds bad, but obviously he's not the type to be involved with his friends lol) I don't want to interfere with them and I don't know how the Lord will open the door when she's there. I mean, granted, he can't stay single forever. I don't expect him to. I just don't know how to handle this.

Dating aside...I do want my friend to receive Christ when the Lord would permit. I just don't know what to do. This is incredibly hard. Please pray for me. I appreciate all your time and consideration and thank you for your support.