My son and his fiance have a 2 year old daughter. They all live with his fiancees' parents, but it's a disaster situation. Aside from the filth and dilapitaded house, his fiancees mom is also an alcoholic who is drunk even when she is taking care of the baby. She makes all the decisions about the baby, despite the protests of my son, his fiancee lets her mother do whatever she wants because it's her 'free' babysitter/billl payer. The mother dismisses my son's requests and she shops and buys the baby food and diapers and clothes and refuses my offers to help as well. (easier to eliminate us from the family by not accepting our help and then complaining that we never help) My son offers the mother money for the food/diapers, etc. and she refuses but then complains about doing it all alone. I am in another state, but before I moved and also during the times I visit, I was in the house and was/am appalled at the disgusting filth in which they choose to live. (there is dog mess/dog vomit stains on the carpets and couches, mold around the sinks and toilets, the refridgerator is filled with old food, very unhealthy, etc.)
My granddaughter is underweight and the only time she eats properly is when my son is home, but he works every day for 12 hours or more and is rarely home. My son is so upset by it all and yet his fiancee refuses to move out, because her mother 'guilt's her into staying by claiming she'll never see her or the baby and that it's easier for her to babysit if they live in the same house. The fiancee also knows her mother is a functioning alcoholic, but she doesn't want her mother to be alone (the father lives there, but he is a recovering alcoholic who works all the time and chooses to not be there much(from what he told me once) Just recently, the mother allowed the 30 year old alcoholic/drug addict brother move in after he lost yet another job and another relationshop. He is another nightmare. (he has 6 kids by 5 various women, he doesn't work, is usually drunk or stoned. he also owes so much in child support that he's been to jail a few times. this is what my son and granddaughter are exposed to daily. he has even babysat for my granddaughter against my son's wishes, because my son was at work and didn't find out until afterwards)
I am sick over this entire scenario, and to make matters worse, my sons job doesn't offer health insurance and his fiancee works part time (also no ins).
The fiancees parents are aware the baby has no insurance, isn't up to date on her immunizations, etc. and they do nothing to help out. I would, but I am always turned down when I offer my help, which is all the time. I buy clothes and the fiancee/her mother don't use them. Its as if my son/his family don't exist, they go about their lives raising the baby without allowing my son or us to be involved. I am heartsick. I even chose different names for me that the baby can call me (not grandma because that is what the fiancees mom wanted to be called) now I found out that they have decided to start using using the name I chose for me for the fiancees moms, another way to push me further out of the life of the baby. (how confusing for the baby to call me and the othe other grandma by the same name)
Since the baby was born, I have spent a lot of money on toys and clothes, but the fiancee tells me 'we have enough stuff from my mother, we don't need anything else'. Yet, they are the first to complain if I don't send clothes for a birthday or Christmas. I can't seem to do anything right. I am also resented for wanting the baby to know about Jesus, the fiancees family are anti-church and it's another reason to shun me/my family. My son wants to leave his fiancee due to all the issues, but she has told him that he will never see his daughter again and he is fearful of how things will be for his daughter if he isn't there to keep an eye on things, so he stays. Please pray they can break free of her family's grip and total control over their lives and to be able to get out of that house and away from her family before they split up. Its such a sad situation. I am fearful of how my granddaughter will be raised considering the drug/alcoholic lifestyles there, the filthy living arrangements, unhealthy environment. My son has admitted to me that his fiancee wants nothing to do with his family, instead, she is jealous of the close relationship he has with me/his siblings. I am so upset, I live in another state and have little contact with the fiancee and the family, yet they bash me all the time (my son tells me) and I can't understand it, but it hurts!! It is beginning to affect the relationship I have with my son because she gets upset when he talks to me and he tries to please her and limits our talks because she is jealous. He said she knows I am upset at the situation and fears I will convince him she is no good for him, which isn't true, but she won't listen to him when he reassures her. Pray that her family would be removed from the situation soon and according to the Lords will, so my sons family can thrive as they should. I am so worried for them. Thank you.