Here I am in South Wales, UK. Why am I here, you ask? Because Myra told me something last week that took my breath away: Her friends Mark and Gaynor offered to let me stay at their place and work to get me a work permit!

So I did the obvious: Planned to get here. Instead of Boston.

I kept praying to God because I was not happy at all in Gainesville. I was alone, sad, depressed, and I wanted to grow as a Christian and life at the mission simply made that impossible. I was also unemployed for three months and despite the prayers of many, unless I could work nights and Sundays(could not work nights, would not work Sundays) I could forget about that. (My environment was hostile and volatile and even though I read 3 chapters of the Bible, attended church services and prayed to God for at least 1 hour ON A DAILY BASIS I was unable to grow as a Christian, which I firmly believe was due to my depression and my location.)

This was dropped in my lap without any expectation of any kind, and so I took it as answer to my prayers. I kept praying to God for safe passage (as long as it was in His will), every step of the way. And I made it through.

I wanted to attend Myra's church. For obvious reasons. And apparently it is SOP to call the pastor of your previous church to see how things are.

My pastor told them 1) I was still a member of that church, 2) I ignored Biblical counsel, and 3) I had an "unhealthy liking for young girls."

Beyond Nichole, the only females I ever really expressed interest in were 18+. But the damage was done. I was declared persona non grata from the congregation of Myra's church, and Myra herself no longer wants to have anything to do with me because she is actually afraid I might have a go at her 15-year-old daughter.

As you can imagine, I am spitting nails with my pastor. He probably just wants me there, and I can tell you hell will turn into the North Pole times ten before that will happen, especially now. He hurt me, destroyed my future. He hurt Myra.

It is going to be a while before I can fully forgive him.

But for now, I am hurting inside. I am lost, nowhere to go.

In case you were wondering: Yes, Myra knew about Nichole. I told her.

I need your prayers. I want to be happy. I need to know what God wants to do with me. Where I am supposed to go. What I am supposed to do. I do not want to be lonely anymore.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU AND WANTS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. HE SHED HIS BLOOD FOR YOU. YOUR ANSWER IS THERE, YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO BE STILL AND LISTEN FOR HIS STILL SMALL VOICE.
GOD WILL GUIDE YOU WHERE HE WANTS YOU TO BE. YOUR NOT ALONE IM HERE FOR YOU. IF YOU NEED TO TALK IM AN EMAIL AWAY
RobinBerghella@gmail.com

Father, Matthew is in the best place to receive revelation from You. Open his eyes to see and his ears to hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying to him. And again I say unto you...be still and know that I am your God. Father, lead Matthew to not meditate the problem (worry) but to meditate on Your Word which is The Answer. That is the least we can do when we are trying to give You room to work...Amen