Please pray to heal my heart of bitterness and hurt and to change the music director's heart. Since I joined the choir four years ago it seems he just does things to try to make out like I don't exist or am not a part. He put the tallest and widest two people on the front row just in front of me and it was so obvious because they were the only tall ones and right in the front row. Then after 16 years of being saved, my mother has never come to church but she did so last year and the same man tried to pull me off stage on some pretext and although I did sing with everyone else, it was upsetting. I was so upset because it was my mother's first visit to any church I had attended in 16 years!

I decided to take a break from the choir for all of last year and unfortunately without the discipline and motivation of sth to attend for my attendance also drifted but people said they missed me and so this year I went back. At some point when I had to pass by him I said "I'm back" he smiled like (oh yeah we''ll see) and shook his head. Again he is trying to exclude me from the conference coming up next month. It used to be that after three months practising with the choir you could sing, but just since I came back he is changing the rules again. All of a sudden it's 8 months!!! Plus more clauses, the rules keep changing according to whenever he feels like making them.
I am not usually on the front row so you would think he would be happy with that, but if a junior choir director puts me there or second row, he always gets someone taller to stand in front of me or makes some reason to move me back. Or try to find some reason to get me removed.
I just want to be treated equally with the others not picked on. When I used to sing in ordinary services he is not bothered but whenever there is a special service he tries to make sure no-one can see me or exclude me. He does not do this to anyone else, and as the only white member and I had not done anything that he should be upset until now I can't help but wonder if he is prejudiced because bar two people the others are all from the same country and culture, the only reason he cannot bar the other white person is because they have a position in a subsidiary church over which he has no influence so he cannot stop them when the churches join.

I find his behaviour hurtful and wonder why he is so spiteful.
Yet when people are around he will always be nice to my face, how are you etc. I pray against every root of prejudice in him and every root of misunderstanding, whatever misconception he has about me or white people help him to get over it and get a life. I pray that when his children grow up they will choose white partners so he has to get over his prejudices. It is not a nice situation to be in, the choir members accept you but the one with influence is always making trouble quietly in a way so the others don't notice. His name is Sam.