not sure how to ask for help. seems like we're not important . always have been there for others. our family is in alot of pain. and we feel helpless. we really need Jesus's help to intervine in our situation. so many things are going wrong at once feel as if we are drowning. how do we turn this life around with so many inner scars? what's true anymore? has my faith been in vain? at 51 years of age we regret our life. we always tried to do what was morally right. maybe our message of the gospel is misunderstood? maybe our kindness was just weakness? tired of quitting and tired of living? quit nursing school to watch other's children so they
could finish school. they weren't family we had three children of our own. once was sent to the store for ice cream cones and gave it all away before reaching home. mom wanted to know where all the ice cream was. we were very poor at that time. what a loser I was and am. not much has changed. have a pattern of poor judgment and stupid things. give most things away and havn't much. have been abandoned , used, stole from, lied to, lied about laughed at mis-understood. excluded, and ignored. and that's mostly family. all this would'nt be so bad if it was for cause . if it we're for jesus's sake. Idon't think jesus wants us to be losers. he paid and suffered maybe so we wouldn't have to. so here we have a wasted loser life with two young boys still to raise as our husband died a couple years ago. our older children supposedly know jesus and as adults we see this pattern also and its painful to watch as we are responsible. so maybe this is life. weren't special or anything that anyone should remember us or feel led to pray for us or even help us. my older daughter for two nights is crying herself to sleep . then gets up to serve the Lord she suffers. she's heartbroken . I tell her that Jesus is there for her and now i'am not sure anymore if my faith is in vain . we ask for vindication on her behalf and even for me if i dare. we're upset by somethings happening at church . family member decided to keep money that was to come to us 9.000 dollars. we have a fixed income. we found that the funeral money we gave checks for weren't paid but cashed and spent we found all our husband,s things tools from his company we're taken. items he intended for our two younger boys. so here we are just us we have only JESUS but he really would have his work cut out for himself with us. even other's put claim exclusively for him. as if he has no time for us the little unimportant ones. he can't waist his time with us losers. i think this is what bothers me most that even Jesus would abandon us. Iused to believe that i was very very rich because of Jesus he was my treasure. I guess I was wrong. I hope some one knows we are here.

This post was last modified: 04-26-2008 08:31 AM by admin.

Lord I ask you to lift up this family and help to make them stronger in faith in themselves and in you. Lead them in your way Lord to a better life. Help this person to see all the beauty, strength, and confidence she holds within. I pray that she and her family will be prosperous and live to serve you. I bind the spirit of greediness and hatefullness in others formed against them. In Jesus name, Amen!

Please Read Psalms chapter 27
And renew your faith in God.