I feel alone and forgotten and left behind. I WILL NOT GIVE UP but I feel like it. I wonder if God is ever going to answer the prayers I have been praying for 30 years. I want a friend... I want a job I will be happy in. I just turned down a great sounding job with great benefits today because the people wanted to pay me "under the table" and I know God wouldn't have wanted me to do anything illegal. So now I have to return to teaching in the fall, and I'm SO burned out on teaching special ed. I am still waiting, praying for God to rescue me. From my job, from myself, from my eating disorder. I keep obeying him, I keep waiting on him, but I am feeling so discouraged, and I am SO alone and I have no one to talk to. I miss so much my old therapist who dumped me suddenly back in January-- she gave up on me and the rejection hurts so much still. I need God to rescue me. I wish Jesus would return and save me from all of this, because I want to give up. Sometimes I wonder if God is ever going to really help me... if my breakthrough is EVER going to come...because I have been waiting for almost 30 years now. And I am so tired.
Psalm 42
1As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
2My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
3My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
4When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
5Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
6O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.
7Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
8Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
9I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
10As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
11Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Father, please help this person to be still and know You are God. Lord, help them know Your thoughts toward them are precious and more in number than the sand, and please raise them up some fellowship and help in Christ, amen
May God give you the opportunity, resources and wisdom you need in order to change your circumstances for the better. I pray that whatever God wants you to learn or do from your situation is realized soon.
In 1 Tim God says to stir up the gift within you. When things becme uncomfortable it can be God is pushing us out of that area towards newer pastures. Over 30 years you have clearly gained talents and gifts. What would you really love to do? Special ed is demanding and you will have been a blessing to others during that time. Maybe now God is saying come out of that and start sth else. In Isaiah He says, Behold, I make all things new, shall yet not know it. God makes streams of water in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
He also says "There remaineth a rest to the people of God." Take a well earned rest, be it for two days or a week. Go somewhere relaxing and refresh your soul. As you find sth you enjoy doing your joy will come back and the friend will come. As you acknowledge Him He will direct your path. You will hear that still small voice and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Do not give up. There is rest for the weary. He is the lifter up of your head and through the encouragements of people on this board He wts to tell you we may be geographically too far to offer friendship but that people are taking time out to encourage you He wts you to know He cares and He has not forgotten you. You are engraved on the palms of His hands.
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Just to be clear and to help you with your situation...You can always take the job, but go ahead and claim the income on your tax return...and pay the taxes yourself. That would be honest and would still give you the income. I am not sure what the job involves, but they may just be paying you as a contractor in which case the same issues apply...they pay you the full amount and you pay the taxes yourself...like you are self employed. Go ahead and make sure you are clear on this before you give up the job. This may be the answer to your prayer request...
God Bless you..I hope this helps.
I have read all the replies to your prayer need and I agree with all except the last one. NO ..NO....NO....... DON'T DO IT..FATHER GOD WE GOT A REAL ONE HERE THAT STEPED OUT AND SAID NO TO A JOB THAT WANTED HER TO COMPRISE HER STAND WITH YOU..ALL I CAN SAY FATHER IS ALL RIGHT..ALL RIGHT HELP HER TO GET READY BECAUSE BLESSINGS ARE GOING TO OVER TAKE HER AND devil WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STOP THEM..SHE PASSED A TEST THAT I HAPPEN TO KNOW MANY WOULDN'T..AND PRECIOUS LORD BRING HER THE SPECIAL FRIENDS WITH YOU THAT SHE NEEDS..SOMETIMES LORD WHEN WE STAND UP AND SAY NO TO THE TEMPTATIONS OF THE ENEMY WE FORGET THAT A BATTLE WILL COME NEXT TO TRY TO KEEP US FROM RECEIVING IT..BUT GUESS WHAT he lost AND YOU WIN DO NOT TURN TO THE RIGHT OR THE LEFT AND DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU BECAUSE HERE COMES THE BLESSING IN JESUS NAME
YOU GO GIRL YOU ARE RIGHT ON COURSE WITH GOD I WOULD MORE THEN GLADLY BE AFRIEND OVER THE NET WITH YOU IF YOU WANT TO TALK...I TOO HAD A TEMPTATION LIKE THAT AND I SAID NO AND RETURNED THE CHECK..TWO OR THREE WEEKS LATER I GOT A CALL FROM THE GOVERNMENT THE LORD HAD TAKEN CARE OF THE MATTER AND I WAS GIVEN ALL THE MONEY BACK. ..YOU CAN NOT OUT DO THE LORD GET READY BECAUSE HERE IT COMES....MY NAME IS ABBIE JUST GO TO MY NAME AND YOU WILL GET MY EMAIL NUMBER..I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU
YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD